But it was a dream---
by Rhapsody211
Summary: Chihiro's life is a mess. She is on the verge of a breakdown when the unimaginable happens. Her love from so long ago appears. What will she do? She thought it had been a dream...Chihiro/Haku
1. Chapter 1

Please, please review. I know everyone says that, and you must usually ignore it, but i speak for all authors when I say it really truly means a lot. This was a small bout of inspiration that I kind of want to continue, so tell me if I should! Review!

Chihiro sighed, gazing at the mess of papers around her, and ran her fingers through her frazzled hair. She grabbed the purple elastic from her desk and tied it back into a wild ponytail. She was so busy lately, with her work, her new fiancée, and her fathers death. She felt the endless anxiety in her stomach, the constant droop in her eyes. She felt drained. She had to fight herself to pick up the phone when it rang. 'This is the prime of my life' she thought angrily, stomping around the house, cleaning up clutter. 'I am only twenty eight, I should stop wasting my life being sad and tired. Why am I so miserable?'  
She stared forlornly out the window in the whirlwind of colored leaves, the slight drizzle smattering the windows. Her gaze averted to reflection, which looked pale and drawn, red splotchy patches on her cheeks that had remained since her childhood. She frowned, not pleased with her face. Puberty had done nothing for her, save some height, (maybe a little too much of that) and some slight curves in the appropriate places. But her face had remained round and childlike, much to her displeasure. She sighed again, then groaned. There was a brisk knock on the door. She hoped, prayed is wasn't the mail man coming to greet her "good moooooorning." Did everyone's mailman greet them everyday? She didn't think so. She found it very annoying, that daily motive to leave her chair. She liked her chair. It was a nice chair.  
Never the less, she rose once again, placing a smile on her face and went to open the door. She flung it open with barely restrained exasperation and froze. It wasn't the mailman standing at her door.  
"It's the biggest pleasure to see you again, Sen."

Sen. 'Sen'. The name reverberated in her mind,calling back long forgotten memories. It felt like a lifetime ago when she had lived them. But she hadn't. She couldn't have. And yet, standing before her was the very one who had been the light in those dark, dark places, the deep, lost memories.  
"But you were a dream," she whispered, tears pushing through to her eyes. Also, she had never lost the want to cry like a child. She had no idea how adults did it.  
He looked the same. He wore different clothes, no longer the white and blue work clothes of the bathhouse. But his hair was still cut in the same fashion, sleek and black, and his eyes, his eyes, were still eerily green, like the river he was named for, long and filled with secrets; dragonesque.  
He looked slightly hurt, and she almost broke control, not quite ready to bawl in front of the strange who stood before her. But he wasn't a stranger, was he.  
"I told you I would return for you, Chihiro," he said sadly but determined, now using her real name, not the one the witch had given her.  
"But now?" She whined. "Now? It's been eighteen years! I waited for you! I gave up friends for you, but you never came! My life is a mess right now, and you thought it would be a good time to come barging back in?! How-" Chihiro new if she didn't stop she would cry, so she furiously slammed the door in his face. She slid down the white wood and cried. Cried, and cried. Nothing was right, but at the same time it was. Her father was dead! Work was choatic! She was engaged, and now her true love from so long ago had returned! He felt him outside, heard him sigh, the sound full of anguish and sorrow. She almost felt bad. He slid down the other side of the door. They stayed like that for a while, until Chihiro was done crying.  
She mopped her eyes with a sleeve and stood precariously. Sniffling unattractively, she slowly opened the door. She looked up and met his eyes. She saw hope there, and a smile almost ready to play out. She fell forward into his open arms and sobbed agian.  
"Oh, Chihiro," he said, his voice breaking. Chihiro whispered his name, clinging to him desperately, 'Haku, haku, haku, haku...haku...haku...'

She had told him to return the next day, quite unfriendly, so she could cope with the new surprise. He didn't seem to mind though, smiling knowing and releasing her maybe somewhat reluctantly from her hug. She had fallen asleep on the couch, her eyes red and puffy, her cheeks tear stained. Her boyfriend hadn't bothered to wake her up to go to bed, and for that she was slightly angry, for now she had a ferocious ache in her neck. He must of assumed she was still upset over her father, and though she was desperately sad, she had never been close to him. She had never been close to either of her parents, never being the adventurous sort they both were.  
Now she waited on the edge of her chair for his knock, like a cat ready to spring. She wanted to see his eyes again, the eyes that made her feel so young and ...happy? She had spent the whole morning remembering the spirit world, the bathhouse, Lynn, Noh-face, Yubaba, Zaneba and the giant baby. The train that only went one way. She could decide if the memories wee welcome or not, but they did seem to lessen her anxiety about seeing Haku again. This anxiety was really getting out of hand. Maybe she should see someone.  
A knock on the door. Chihiro bolted from her chair and was at the door in a second, flinging it open and trying to suppress the deep disappointment when she was met with the mailman blinking cheerfully down at her. He grinned and handed her her mail. Mostly bills.  
"Good moooooooooorning," he lamented, tipping his ridiculous hat. "Feeling better this morning?!" Chihiro nodded, frowning when he regarded her face. "No? Well, let me just say, that mail of yours won't make it any better." At that, he just smiled wanly, and almost pranced away. Chihiro grumbled. Cheerful idiot. Rifling through her mail, she turned back inside and closed the door carelessly. She almost flung the letters when she heard,  
"Oh! Well, should I just come back tomorrow then?" The voice was slightly sarcastic, something she never recalled him sounding. Oh well. She supposed the human world was rubbing off on him. She panicked, dropped her mail and opened the door.  
"No!" She practically hollered. He grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. It was strangely childlike, but somehow endearing. What was she thinking!? She was engaged!...but this was Haku...  
"Alright then." She led him into her house, a warm tingling spreading in her when he bent and handed her the dropped mail, saying, "you dropped these?" with a small smile. He sat carefully on the couch, seeming very out of place. He was the sort she interpreted with otherworldliness and magic. Well...he was a dragon...  
"Tell me why you took so long!" She demanded, wincing at her whiny tone and cautiously observing his half smile, that seemed regretful and rueful.  
"Yubaba, well, was reluctant to let me go."

...tell me if I should continue? And you will find out what happens! Reviews!


	2. Chapter 2

So I wrote you next chapter since my two reviewers, (thank you!) seemed to think I should. Hope you like it! Read and review!

"What!?" Chihiro asked. She blushed when he did. "But, well, I thought... I gave you your name back! How could she have kept you this long?" He took a deep breath and continued,  
"Well, much of that time, hrmmm, was me trying to find my way back. I had to find a way to leave, because I found that when I left the bathhouse, when I crossed the river, I started to disappear."  
"Like I did?" She furrowed her brow.  
"Yes. But it took me a little while to figure that out."  
"A little while?" Chihiro said skeptically.  
"Two years," he said a little ruefully."It took me so long to find you. You know, my river was filled in, so I had to find you on foot. My dragon senses left when I left the spirit world." He sighed. "Yubaba was in trouble with expenses. I helped her for a couple years, I had too." Chihiro shook her head, as it was beginning to ache.  
"I understand...but," she looked up at him and met his green, green eyes, "how long did it take you to find me? My mental math is out of order right now." He let out a musical laugh.  
"Fourteen years. I really didn't know where you might be. I had no idea you would move to a tiny little town in rural Scotland." He grinned again. Chihiro anxiously tapped her foot. She had to tell him. She couldn't NOT tell him. She averted her gaze and stared at her dirty floor.  
"HakuI'mengagedandIdon'tknowwhattodo," she exclaimed loudly and VERY quickly. Haku froze. He stared at her hand for the longest time, and stared at where it had been when she finally lowered it. In his eyes, she saw hope fading, receding like the tide. She whispered,  
"I don't love him. I care for him, yes, he saved me. I was so, so lonely, and he brought me back to the land of the living. But I never forgot you. Nobody was ever you. You might have been a dream, but you were the best one."

Chihiro tensed, almost jumping from her seat when Haku bounded foreword and placing a warm, tender kiss right on her mouth, but paused. She let him kiss her for a moment longer before pushing Haku away.  
"I can't do this to him, Haku. He is so kind, I can't hurt him like this." Haku held her in his arms, murmuring,  
"He saved you, Chihiro, a long time ago. But you are lost again, you are lonely. I've found you, and I have been looking for such a long time. Time to remember what happiness is." He kissed her again, and she almost began to cry, (again. When did she become this weepy?) she had never felt this before with Sam, never felt this much love. It swept through her till it almost hurt. She pulled back once more, and searched his eyes for something, anything, but all she found was pure, burning love. She smiled. Strange, she hadn't done that in a while.  
"But Haku, I won't be happy if he is sad. He loves me dearly, but he is like a brother to me." Haku regarded her thoughtfully, with a little bit of humor. "Wouldn't it be selfish, to sacrifice him for my own joy?" Haku chuckled,  
"Chihiro, when was the last time you were in any way selfish?" Not waiting for an answer, of which she had many, he continued, "not often enough. You're so sensitive, Chihiro. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish, or won't ever be happy." Chihiro smiled and wrapped her arms around his firm chest. Hugging him to her, she replied,  
"You know, I think you're right. And I love you. But it still doesn't really solve my problems."  
"Problems? What is the second one?"  
"Well, I just love you so much I think I might burst. That is a problem. But, I have to organize my fathers funeral, he just died. And I might be laid off from my work, they don't think I'm 'what they need right now anymore'. Just a few, though." Haku looked alarmed.  
"Well, I love you too. So, so much. And I am very sorry about your father. And work, pshh, your so talented, they are stupid not to want you. But if it is of relevance, you are most definitely what I need right now." He smiled, his eyes twinkling.  
"Did- did you just ...flirt?" Chihiro asked, her poor brain not even able to comprehend it. Haku. Flirting? He just shrugged.  
"I've lived in this world for a while, you know. I might have picked up a few things." Chihiro shuddered, and repeated,  
"Problems? What will I do?" Haku took a moment to ponder over this, then said,  
"You might just buy him a nice dinner and gently tell him how you feel." Chihiro looked at him doubtfully. "Or you could try to fix him up with another girl." Chihiro looked horrified. "No? Well, I have another idea..."

Review! My lovely reader, you shall become even more lovely if you review! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again for reviewing! You really make my day!

"I suppose," said Chihiro. Haku knelt on the floor beside her.  
"It will work. And I can help you," he said, smiling. She pursed her lips,  
"How?" Haku grinned wider.  
"I'll be cause for unexplainable things," he said, and with that, placed another kiss on her mouth. She made a sound protest when he stood and walked toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Chihiro. Try to stay strong." He gracefully swept out the door. Chihiro sat and watched him go. She raised a hand to her lips and giggled. Giggled? Yes, that was what it was called, she thought. She giggled like a teenage girl, which soon turned into uncontrolled laughter. She held her stomach and gulped for breath. God, she was a nutter. Completely insane. She thought about what he had said, 'you can slowly grow apart from him, and let him down gently. He deserves that much.' Suddenly, the 'dropping the bomb over dinner' plan was sounding better. Did she really want to wait to be happy? Be with the one she loved, she always loved? She knew she had to wait, but she still felt like complaining. She stood on wobbly legs, thought sadly of how she was never going to end up using the running pants she had bought and how she really should, then teetered over to her room.  
Sam's side of the bed was neat and straight, while hers was a messy jumble of sheets. She had insisted on waiting till they were married before 'doing' anything, but she had allowed them to sleep on the same bed. She shook her head, sorry that they never would do anything, and made toward her bedside table. Inside were her keepsakes. She withdrew an old diary from when she was young. One her parents had bought her as a present for moving into a new town so well. They told her she was brave. After her 'dream', there was nothing much to be afraid of. In every girl she'd seen Lynn, and in every boy, Haku. It made it all more tolerable.  
She flipped open the diary and thought about rereading the old entries, but decided against it, seeing as how weepy she had been of the late. She opened to a fresh page, at wrote everything in her neat, secretary like scrawl. It ended up taking about four pages to get it all down, but it felt good. She thought about getting up and finishing the email she was writing to her boss, but decided against it, lying back on her bed. 'I'll just take a quick nap,' she thought, descending into black.

When Chihiro awoke, her nostrils inhaled the strong scent of bacon. Sam must be home. She stood precariously and stumbled blindly into the kitchen.  
" 'times it?" She mumbled, collapsing onto a kitchen stool. Sam came and kissed her on the forehead. She opened her eyes slowly.  
"Morning, lovebird. It's eight o'clock," he turned away to scramble the eggs. Chihiro scrunched her brow, mind foggy with sleep.  
"S'eight? Why're you making bacon at eight? Breakfast f'supper?" Sam chuckled and replied,  
"No honey, it's eight in the morning. I came home and found you asleep, and decided not to wake you up." Chihiro grimaced. She scrubbed her hands over her eyes, and almost toppled over when Sam gasped. "Chihiro! Where is your ring?!" Chihiro slapped herself in the face in her desperate attempt to bring her hand before her eyes. She wildly searched her fingers for the tiny diamond but was found with nothing put pale, spindly fingers. She groaned. Haku. He must have taken it. He must have "made things happen". She groaned.  
"It- I..." She looked up at him desperately. Wait. She couldn't blame Haku. It was probably just her stupidness, her messy, unorganized self. She must have dropped it somewhere. She let out a wail. "Sammmm! I don't know! I don't- I don't know! I must have dropped it! I, I just! I'm so stressed, and don't know, I'm sorrrryyyyy!" She leapt from her seat into his arms and she let him hold her. She felt the slightest bit guilty, for letting him, and for losing the expensive ring.  
"Shhh, shhh Chihiro. It's alright. Just, it was very expensive, just try to look for it today?" She nodded into his soft shirt and untangled herself from him.  
"I will. I promise. I'm sorry," she whispered, returning to her seat and gobbling up the bacon and eggs he placed before her.  
"Oh shoot!" She heard him say. She merely nodded when he hollered a goodbye and flew out the door. Bye, dear.

That afternoon, after glumly greeting the mailman, Chihiro forced herself to sit at her desk and email her boss. Just as she was about to send it, she was alerted of a new message. She sent it, then read the new one.

Dear Chihiro,  
I would use your surname, but you have worked with us such a long time, I figured I better give you this news on a personal note. We are afraid, and very unhappy, to say, due to economic trouble, we will have to relieve you of your position here. You have been such a big help, and we were very glad to have your hard work, but blah blah blah blah

She sighed and slumped in her chair. It wasn't exactly unexpected, but it was still a blow. She groaned and knocked her head on the desk. It hurt, but she had lost the ability to care. She stood slowly when she heard a knock on the door. Haku stood, his hand raised.  
"I was about to knock again," he said teasingly. He noticed her withering look and asked, "Chihiro, love, what's wrong?" She closed her eyes and prayed for a better afterlife.  
"Oh, nothing," she drawled sarcastically, "I just lost my job. But really, it's nothing." She cursed herself when Haku made a hurt face,  
"No it's not. I'm so sorry."  
"No I'm sorry. All you've been is kind, I'm just a little distressed." Haku grabbed her hand,  
"Of course you are! Let's go inside."

After seated in her loving room once again, Chihiro told him,  
"I know you took the ring."  
"No-!"  
"Yes."  
"Yes, maybe. I noticed it fell onto the ground, and I picked it up and perhaps forgot to give it back," he smiled sheepishly. She snorted. "Would you like it back?"  
"Always the gentleman. But no, maybe it's good. Maybe without the ring, everything will seem less, I don't know, labeled." Haku nodded.  
"That might have been my train of thought." Chihiro regarded him silently. He just stared back, seemingly content with examining her. "You know, you only got more beautiful," he told her bluntly. She raised her eyes brows until they disappeared behind her bangs.  
"You think I'm beautiful?" She sputtered, knowing what a stupid question it was.  
"You sound so surprised! Of course you are, you always were! Since you were a smiling child with untied pink shoes, to now, a grown up, gorgeous woman." Chihiro blushed furiously, blinking rapidly, and said quietly,  
"Well, your not to bad yourself." And he wasn't. He had cut his hair shorter, had sleek, but existent muscle beneath his soft, long sleeved shirt, toned abs, and long, lanky legs beneath a pair of khakis, converse sneakers on his feet. He looked very modern, yet so out of place. She loved it. She loved him. His face was longer, less childlike ( unlike hers) and there was no other word to describe him but beautiful. He just laughed. He held her hand with smooth, slender ones of his own. Pretty fingers. She giggled.  
She felt so happy around him, so at ease. She wondered if that was strange, seeing as they had only reunited two days ago, was it? She didn't care though. She had nothing much else to lose, now both her parents were dead, her job gone, even her ring gone. She just had him. She let him pull her into his lap and place gentle, wonderful kisses onto her lips, caressing them until her mind fell into oblivion. They stayed like that for a while.

At Sam's work, chaos was breaking loose. They had been a carbon monoxide leak in the workplace, and all the people were desperately escaping. He backed his car carefully, worriedly glancing at the traffic before him. He didn't notice the large truck roaring towards him on his other side. Smoke filled the air.

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	4. Chapter 4

His hand was cold and dry. Chihiro reached into her bag and retrieved her hand lotion, rubbing it gently into his limp hand. She had received the call last night that Sam had been taken to a hospital in a coma, due to carbon monoxide inhalation and being in a very bad accident. She held his hand and glanced around the bright white hospital room. The lights burned her eyes so she closed them, listening to the strangely soothing sounds of machines. She squeezed his hand, murmuring sweet nothings to get better soon, to come back to her.  
She realized that when he returned, she would have to take care of him. She would never be free, she could never be with Haku. Her heart fell. What could she do? She couldn't do anything. She could not heal him just to break his heart. She was not cruel. But she was lonely, and sad.  
She slumped against the bed and fell into an uneasy sleep. She dreamed of Zaneba. It was a strange dream, so clear and specific. It was about her friends, Noh- face, the fly, and the baby mouse.  
"Here. This was made by your friends. Use it to tie up your hair. Their love will keep you safe." The dream faded into black nothing.  
She woke from a nurse gently shaking her shoulder.  
"Miss. Miss. You need to get up, and go home. The hospital is closing, and only family is allowed to stay," she said in a kind Scottish accent. Chihiro grumbled something, and stretched, her neck popping and wincing.  
"His family is dead," Chihiro growled, her throat scratchy from sleep. "We are engaged." The nurse smiled.  
"I'm very sorry miss, but you have nothing to prove that. I'm sorry, but you will have to leave." Chihiro stood quickly, knocking over her chair, causing the nurse to squeak and scuttle back.  
"Alright. I'll leave. Tell me if he gets any better," she exclaimed loudly, tired of being told what to do. She stalked from the room, her head very straight. This was hopeless. There was no escaping this pit she had dug herself into. This grave.  
She cursed herself as she walked to the parking lot. Your overreacting, she thought. He's not so bad, it will all be fine. Her mind spun and she gave up thinking, strolling blindly to her car. She reached it and went to open the door. She tried to open it. But it was locked. She shook her head, and tried again. She stomped her foot in frustration and continued pulling at the door handle. Suddenly, the door sprung open, and she toppled backward onto her bum. She spluttered,  
"What in the name of god!" She pulled herself to her feet and slipped into the drivers seat. She turned to see Haku grinning at her from the passenger seat.  
"How'd you get in here," she said in a flat voice. His smile faltered.  
"Uh, the keys in your house. You weren't at home when I arrived so I let myself in. I noticed your keys and checked your messages. I thought you might be here."  
"Why would you go in my house," she hollered, "and check my messages!" His eyes widened,  
"I'm sorry, Chihiro! I thought something had happened to you! So I went in! Why are you here anyways? Is something wrong?" Chihiro mumbled under her breath, and replied,  
"Yes." He looked at her expectantly. She sighed. "Sam got in an accident. He's in a coma." Haku gasped quietly, and reached for her hand. She withdrew it.  
"Oh Chihiro, I'm so sorry. This, this isn't good." Chihiro glared.  
"No, it bloody well isn't good. I can't leave him now, when he is almost dead! I have to take care of him, help him like he helped me! I can't be happy, not when he's in a hospital, dying!" She cried. Haku leaned away from her and eyed her warily.  
"You don't want to be with me." Chihiro choked.  
"WHAT! You are all I've ever wanted, and now I can't have you, and I think it may break my poor, stupid, useless little heart!" She shrieked, sobbing, trying to curl her legs up to her chest like when she was young, and screaming in annoyance when they wouldn't reach past the steering wheel. Haku looked taken aback, shocked by her performance.  
"Chihiro, Chihiro, calm down. It will be all right, it's gunna be fine." He reached toward her, ignoring her punches and hits, wrapping his wonderful arms around her and holding her as she shook. "It is going to be all right."

That night, as Chihiro stood in the shower, letting the burning hot water wash away her tears and stress, she realized she hadn't taken her hair from its ponytail. She cursed and worked at untangling it from her wreck of locks. After wripping it free and squeaking in pain, she slipped it onto her wrist. She paused. The band on her bony arm was purple and shimmered slightly, like moonlight on the ocean. She brought it up before her eyes and examined it closely. She nodded. It was the very same hair band her friends had given her, and it had lasted all these years. "It will keep you safe." She sincerely hoped so. Her heart lightened and that night she dreamed of Haku.


	5. Chapter 5

This is for my lovely, lovely, lovely reviewer( thank you! Very helpful!) please read and review, so I have the guts to continue!

Just after Chihiro's eleventh birthday...

"Chihiro, honey, how was your day?" Chihiro's mum looked up to see Chihiro amble in the door, her arms limp and round cheeks stained with tears. Chihiro mumbled something plain, and dumped her backpack onto the floor. "Dear! What happened? Are you alright?" Chihiro muttered something nasty, noticing her mother not moving from her place by the sink. "Chihiro! Don't be a coward and say what your going to say out loud!" Chihiro felt anger roar inside her.  
"Oh, I was just commenting of how when you see your daughter enter in tears you don't even come and give her a hug," she cried, turning of heal and sprinting for her room. She tripped on the stairs from her too large socks and cussed loudly, earning herself an angry "CHIHIRO!" From her mother. She careened into her room and collapsed on her bed, shaking in uncontrollable tears. Her best friend, for two whole years, who had welcomed her warmly into her new town, had ditched her. Left her! Screamed, "your such a freak, Chihiro!" And ran off. Chihiro sobbed again. Natalie had known Chihiro was hiding something, and Chihiro had trusted her. Trusted her! The little, evil, foul... Chihiro heaved a long breath. She had finally told Natalie about The Bathhouse. Insisted it wasn't a dream. Showed her the purple elastic. Natalie just couldn't do it. Chihiro thought she was open minded. Ha.

Senior graduation

Chihiro walked numbly up to the podium, accepting her diploma, and jerking her chin. She held in her grief. Her mother had just passed away, and now she was leaving the town that had made her life a living hell. Hallelujah.  
She had been accepted to a school in Scotland for business, though her real passion was forensic science. Maybe spying. She loved sneaking around, searching for clues. It seemed a silly and far off dream. She missed her stupid, bossy mother. She choked down tears. She watched Natalie go up to the podium. Then Ranae. Then Maya. All friends who had come, and gone. For all the same reason. Her 'crazy hallucination'.  
A couple hours later, after a fleeting hug from her dad, Chihiro got into her new car and drove away. Away for a very long time. Away until she would have to return for her fathers funeral, ( which still hadn't been planned...)

Chihiro was depressed. She had quite smoking after a few months, never really getting addicted, but her heart was blue. Something was missing. She didn't know what it was. After five psychiatrists, she had finally come to believe what they all said. It was a dream. She sat alone at a bar, drinking her third tequila. A hand rested on her shoulder.  
"Hello," a warm voice said. Chihiro turned and looked up into a kind face. It was pale and freckled, with a closely shaved beard, almost stubble, amber hair flopping into his eyes. He had a soothing accent, and nice teeth. "I noticed you here with my friends earlier, and decided to stay to make sure you get home alright. Are you okay?" Chihiro was gaping at him. She blinked, then replied,  
"No, not really. I'm depressed, and this is only my third drink and I'm already feeling drunk as a sailor." The man let out a chuckle.  
"Certainly enough. My name is Sam. Would you like me to give you a ride home?" Chihiro stared at him warily. A strange man asking her to get in his car. She vaguely remembered being warned about this. Screw it. She'd rather be in a strange car than passed out in a bar a two a.m. She stood, wobbled, and fell into his outstretched arms. He seemed to be expecting this, as he laughed again, and helped her teeter into his car. It smelled nice. It was warm. He talked to her. That was all she remembered when she awoke in her apartment at nine the next morning, her head pounding with a hangover.

She was chugging orange juice in front of her laptop that served as a tv when the bell rang. She groaned, pulled herself up. Whoever was knocking on her door must be important, because no one EVER knocked on her door. She pulled it open and looked down at fading sneakers. She looked up and saw a somehow familiar face with kind features. What was his name? Sam? He...drove her home? Yes, that was it.  
"Good morning. I left you here last night a bit, what should I say, indisposed? I just thought I'd stop by to make sure you didn't drown yourself in," he glanced at the carton her hand, "orange juice, we can say." Chihiro took another swig.  
"Why're you so nice?" She asked bluntly. "Why are you so nice if the world is never going to be nice back?" Sam smiled.  
"Because your beautiful." Chihiro choked. "And deep, apparently." Chihiro coughed violently, then rasped out,  
"Thank you? That, I..." Sam just laughed.  
"May I come in?" He asked. Her eyes widened and she stepped aside, staring avidly at him as he entered her messy apartment, his eyes scanning the scene. "I like your place," he said with a smile. Chihiro blushed. She slid back over to her couch in her giant slipper socks and sat again, placing her jug of orange juice on the floor beside her, pulling her anime back into her lap. She was almost done with the first season of Sword Art Online. She was not guilty when she said she was hooked. She looked up at his from her curled up position on the couch,  
"Do you want to watch anime?" She asked, watching him look at her.  
"Can I know your name?" He asked, his eyes twinkling. Her jaw dropped at her sheer stupidness. She stuttered,  
"I'm, uh, I'm just, I'm...Chihiro. My name is Chihiro." Sam tilted his head. Chihiro thought he looked quite like a puppy.  
"Are you from Japan?" He asked. She nodded.  
"I lived there my whole childhood," she responded. He sat gently beside her.  
"Chihiro, do you think I could hang with you today?" He asked carefully. She just nodded. "I think you need some help, and if you like, I will help you." She glanced at him sided long.  
"Sure, whatever. Can I watch my anime now?"

A year later, Chihiro had stopped drinking. She was no longer depressed. She and Sam had been dating for six months 'officially'. She was happy, with a brand new job for a paper making company, and a new house to top it. She was content. She now fondly remembered that feeling as she sat alone on her bed, Sam practically dead, guilt boiling in her stomach at the thought that she was cheating on such a beautiful, kind, wonderful man, and she was going to cause him great pain. It killed her. She was too drained to cry. Maybe she needed to get away, leave Sam and Haku. But she would then end up hurting them both. Sam who had loved her for so long, Haku for longer, Haku who had been searching for her fourteen years, all for her. God, she loved him so much. She didn't know what to do. She was very, very lost. 'If you forget your real name, you'll never find your way home.' Huh. She knew her name, and she was very good and lost. Chihiro groaned and slumped onto her bed, asleep.

Please review! You make me so, so, so happy, and it really is a great, supportive thing to do too! Thanks!


	6. He was a dream finale

Yes, I know it has been a while, I have been very busy, and my mind focused on a new plot for a story of mine, but I felt like I had to finish this one first, because I can hardly leave Chihiro like this...and sorry...

Chihiro had received the call a few days later. She had hung up on the nurse and walked blindly to her couch, falling onto it and pretending she was dead, wishing she was dead. Knowing she deserved to be dead. Chihiro was depressed.

One week later,

Haku stood silently beside a fresh grave. He put down a bouquet of unique flowers and whispered,

"Thank you, Sam. Thank you for saving my love, and thank you for giving her hope. I am sorry you lost her heart, and I am sorry it had to end this way. I'm sorry." Haku did not see Chihiro curled into a little ball on the other side of the grave. It was massive and white marble, payed for with the fortune he had left her behind with. Chihiro, if she didn't want to, would never have to work another day if her life. She had desperately tried to be rid of it, throw it away. But she could not. She had avoided Haku, and knew she would have to face him someday. Tell him she could not be with him, because of her guilt, the constant fear that she did not save him, she failed him. He brought her out of death, and she let him go. She let him fall away into darkness, and that is where she would have to follow. She wondered if this was suicidal thinking. Maybe she should stop taking her depression drugs. She let out a sob, alerting Haku to her location. He was crouched beside her in a flash, wearing a black suit and shoes. She didn't move when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rocked her gently, nuzzling his nose into her neck. She hated herself for feeling so much better, for being so much happier he was there.

She was frozen, not knowing what to do. She opened her mouth, but Haku interrupted her, "I know how you must feel, I know you think it is your fault, but it isn't." He pulled back to look into her eyes, "did you release the poison in the air?" She shook her head numbly. "Did you drive that truck? No." She looked desperate into his eyes, grappling in the dark for a reason, for a thought. "Haku, I didn't love him. I let him die thinking I loved him-" "And that was a blessing. And don't tell me you didn't love him, you stayed by his bed everyday, not eating, not sleeping. That is love, and devotion. And I love you more for it." She let him envelope her in a giant hug, timidly returning it. "But, Haku..." She whined. "I feel so, so guilty. I hate myself. I, I..." Her voice thickened with tears, and they began to flow freely down her cheeks. Haku held her till night decended.

One year later,

Chihiro felt sad. She picked up her papers and approached the podium. She felt no fear of speaking in front of the people who had supported her for the past year after she and Haku had moved to the Americas. They now lived in a small town in Massachusetts. "I am devastated to say goodbye to you all today," she began, smiling at all the other depression and PTSD patients around her, who all looked happy and joyful, completely disregarding their 'labels'. She continued, "as you know, after my father, and fiancée died," that earned her a few sad smiles, "I was very depressed. Even with my beautiful husband," she smiled at Haku, who leaned against the wall in the back of the room, an adoring expression on his face, "I felt lost. I needed closure. And you all gave it to me. Together, we brought each other out of the dark, and now I have found happiness, thanks to you, and I am positive you all will also find it. I am sure of it. You may not know where it is, and you may not know where to look, but follow your gut and trust your instincts. I believe in every single one of you." A tear fell from her eye. A tear of joy. She glanced down at her swollen stomach, and rested her hand there. "I will miss you all terribly, me and Haku both, and little Anna. Thank you."

Twenty years later,

Chihiro sat on the bench in the fresh spring light, bathing in the warmth and caressed by the lovely smell. Her delicate watercolor painting of the blossoming branches dried before her. Haku watched her rest from the pond down the hill, smiling and thinking of how lucky he was. She was so beautiful me brave and wonderful. He was glad they moved to Japan, her home. It was beautiful and delicate, just like herself. He laughed. He was so, so happy. It was a wonder.

Sixty years later,

It was the deathly earthquake of 2069 that shook the whole of Japan, and left masses of people for dead. Two star crossed lovers, wrinkled in their old age, lay dead upon a pile of rubble. They held each other, and appeared restful in sleep. A sleep they would never wake from. Haku and Chiniro were boarding a train, a train that never returned.


End file.
